20 Ugliest Celebrities

By nature or personal choice, they are rich and famous and yet... ugly as hell!

Michael Jackson

Did you really expect anyone else? Michael Jackson used to be a successful black singer, but took it upon himself to destroy his face and reputation. He now looks like an albino alien whose nose appears to change on a daily basis. Just goes to show you what can happen if you are too critical of your looks... you can end up an albino alien like Mike.

Marilyn Manson

Seriously ... what the hell happened to this kid? From the ghostly white makeup you can see on his black collar to the funky blue eye and blood red lips ... Marilyn Manson is a freak and there's nothing more to say, he's ugly by choice. And not only is he ugly, but he scares the crap out of us.

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Holy crap! This is what happens when you get obsessed with plastic surgery. A wealthy socialite from Switzerland, Jocelyn is actually a celeb for being so ugly. Her extreme appearance has led to the press giving her the nickname "The Bride of Wildenstein," a reference to The Bride of Frankenstein. Wildenstein has allegedly spent almost US$4,000,000 on cosmetic surgery over the years, all payed by her husband, the billionaire international art dealer Alec Wildenstein.

Michael Berryman

No, it is not make-up. This actor born in LA, suffers from Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasia (a rare condition leaving him with no sweat glands, hair, fingernails or teeth). He played Pluto in Wes Craven's 1977 horror film The Hills Have Eyes. He has also appeared in numerous science fiction and fantasy movies such as My Science Project (1985), Weird Science (1985), Armed Response (1986) and Evil Spirits (1990). He also appeared in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and The Devil's Rejects. Berryman generally portrays mutant bikers, evil undertakers, monsters and other frightening characters. He has also starred in episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation and The X-Files.

DJ Qualls

Ok, we are going to be really mean again, since he's actually ugly for a another terrible reason. We're actually happy to see he has turned it into a good thing, just like Berryman. Qualls also suffered from a rare condition: Hodgkin's lymphoma, a form of cancer, at age 14. After two years of surgery (including the removal of his spleen), chemotherapy, and radiation treatments, Qualls's cancer went into remission, which lent him his famous thin stature. In 1997, he enrolled at Nashville's Belmont University. At a performance in a local theatre he was discovered by David LaChapelle and became... a model!! Yes, a model, for Prada and Calvin Klein. He then got famous for his role on the movie "Road Trip".

Marty Feldman

And yet another terrible case. Marty Feldman (1934 – 1982) was an English writer, comedian and BAFTA award winning actor, notable for his bulging eyes, which were the result of a thyroid condition known as Graves Disease. He wrote situation comedies such as The Army Game, Bootsie and Snudge for the BBC and later had a series of his own on the BBC called Marty. He also appeared in The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother and Mel Brooks' Silent Movie, as well as directing and starring in The Last Remake of Beau Geste. He guest-starred in the "Arabian Nights" episode of The Muppet Show.

Clint Howard

No weird disease this time -- he's just plain ugly. But then, again, it is probably what made him famous. Born in 1959, the actor appeared in Cocoon, Steve Martin's Parenthood, EdTV, Apollo 13, Austin Powers, That Thing You Do among others. In 1998, Howard was awarded the MTV Lifetime Achievement Award. He got married twice, just to show you that looks don't matter.

Shane MacGowan

This Irish musician is best known as the original singer and songwriter with The Pogues, and is considered one of the most important and poetic Irish songwriters of the last thirty years. A great find for our list... he's terribly horrible.

Lyle Lovett

Lyle Lovett has to have some good blackmail on someone. Otherwise, how in the hell did he ever get into acting? And the fact that Julia Roberts married this beast makes us think she's not only nuts, but ugly too. Tell us one thing that you find attractive about this man ... go on. Then we'll laugh at you.

Kelis

Holy hell ... Kelis is not bringin' any boys to the yard looking like that. There have been rumors that she is really a man, and quite frankly we are thinking something's not right with this chick. Every time we see her she has her mouth open and looks like she's ready to eat us. She's scary. Next time we see her, we are looking for the Adam's apple.

Iggy Pop

Rock singer, songwriter, and occasional actor, he is sometimes referred to by the nicknames "the Godfather of Punk". Iggy Pop was the lead singer of The Stooges, a late 1960s/early 1970s garage rock band who were influential in the development of the nascent heavy metal and punk rock genres. The Stooges became infamous for their live performances, during which it was not uncommon for Iggy Pop to leap off the stage (in fact, he was among the first to "stage dive"), smear raw meat (and on one occasion peanut butter) over his chest and/or cut himself with broken bottles. So this is how you get ugly by being nut.

Steven Tyler

Dude looks like a zombie. He's a great singer, a cool guy, the daddy of one of the hottest girls on hollywood, plus all the money and women one could ever dream of... and yet... ugly as hell.

Courtney Love

Drugs don't make people pretty... and this woman is about as ugly and classless as it can get.

Donatella Versace

Oh, how the years go by. Yes, she's talented, famous and rich, but... she's now ugly as hell!

Amy Winehouse

English soul, jazz, and R&B singer and songwriter, she's another drug victim. Now, get this: she has a number of "old school" tattoos of naked women on her body. When asked about them, she was quoted as saying "I like pin-up girls. I'm more of a boy than a girl in that way. I'm not a lesbian, though — not before a sambuca anyway. And the she said she would own a beauty salon once her singing schedule calms down... that's a must.

Ronaldinho

Probably the world's best soccer player at this time, Ronaldinho might be one of the funniest, honest, and nicest celebs around... but he's also one of the ugliest. This brazilian is certainly saving his huge salary for something other than helping his image.

Kelly Osbourne

"Uh, I'm ugly." Yeah, we know Kelly. The British accent is cute and we love that she is all about being an individual, but quite frankly Kelly Osbourne's annoying and a brat. And we're not picking on her weight, because it fluctuates and we don't care. Weight really can't change whether you are ugly or not. And Kelly is on our list!

Tori Spelling

Tori Spelling must be thanking her daddy for helping her get into the acting business 'cause there is no other way she would EVER have made it. Thanks Aaron Spelling for ruining our lives! Sometimes you hope someone will grow on you after awhile, but even now when we see Tori on TV we immediately switch the channel. Yeah, it's that bad. And don't even get us started on her acting.

Rosie O'Donnell

Rosie O'Donnell is a bully, but it's not the bad temper what got her on our list... she's ugly, plain and simple.

Rachel Dratch

Don't get us wrong: we love Rachel. Her SNL sketches are hilarious, she's a great actress. But we are sorry to say she truly earned the last place on our list.

Top 10 Comic Book Anti-Heroes

I have been fascinated with the concept of antiheroes since I was ten years old and Han Solo shot first. Good guys are not supposed to do bad things, good guys are supposed to be just and noble and always do what is right, yet Han Solo far and away was the much cooler character than Luke Skywalker.

According to dictionary.com, an antihero is “characterized by a lack of traditional heroic qualities, such as idealism or courage”. What makes them so popular, I think, is they are more relatable than most heroes. Like us the antihero is flawed, so we can identify with them, even sympathize with them.

But mostly it is because we like seeing them be bad and get away with it.

I composed the list below by factoring in several elements: character longevity, popularity, success in crossing over into other mediums, inspiration on other characters, and a certain “cool” factor. It is, of course, highly subjective.

10. Deadpool

Cancer victim Wade Wilson volunteered for the Weapon X program to gain a healing factor to cure his cancer. Thing was, the healing factor caused his cancer to create tumorous growths all over his body, making him look hideous. It also made him nuts. He first appeared as a villain in the pages of Rob Liefeld’s New Mutants and right off the bat he was seen for what he was: a rip off of DC Comics‘ Deathstroke, The Terminator.

Love him or hate him, the “merc with a mouth” has proven to have legs. Marvel comics has milked the one note villain for all he is worth and just when you think the writers have run out of ways to use him, someone else comes along with a fresh twist to keep the money rolling in.

9. Cat Woman

She started off as a member of Batman’s rogues’ gallery, whose only remarkable feature was her gender. Yet, over the years Selina’s motivations have grown from simple cat-inspired crimes to something more complex, graduating from villain to vigilante and antihero due in no small part to Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One story (written at a time before Frank Miller descended into self parody) where her origin was changed from an amnesiac to a prostitute inspired by Batman’s “gimmick”. Selina’s popularity has further grown through a successful solo series run. Even with the end of her series she is still a popular character, appearing in such DC Comics as Salvation Run, Detective and most recently, Gotham City Sirens. Cat Woman plays at both being the hero and the villain, alternating between a desire to do good, an annoying sense of responsibility, and cheap thrills… (Artist: Darwyn Cooke.)

8. Wolverine

He is the best he is at what he does, if what you mean by what he does is sell comics. Wolverine is Marvel’s cash cow, a mutant killing machine that racks up an implausibly high body count wherever he goes. He would rank higher on this list, except Wolverine is too much the team player. Seriously, he is on at least two X-Men teams as well as The Avengers, not to mention the guest appearance of the week. Add to that his tendency to take teenage girls under his wing and this Wolverine is practically…domesticated… (Image: comicvine.com.)

7. The Incredible Hulk

The green one, I mean…who is sometimes gray…

Doc Bruce Banner was belted by gamma rays and thus his monstrous alter ego was born, a creature formed as much by his subconscious fears and rage as he was by a world intent on destroying him. The Hulk has played many roles over the years: rampaging monster, full-fledged superhero, Las Vegas mob enforcer, revolutionary on an alien world, and later a global threat intent on revenge against the Illuminati he felt destroyed his planet and wife. The Hulk in all his incarnations has proven popular enough to have sustained a pretty consistent run in comics from his first appearance in Tales to Astonish back in ‘64. Not bad for a guy who spent quite a few years saying little more than “Hulk Smash!”

6. The Sub Mariner

Namor, The Sub Mariner first appeared in the spring of ‘39 and proved to be a complex character in a four color world and may very well be the first comic book antihero, setting the standard for complex villains such as Magneto, for example. The Sub Mariner is every bit as interesting today as he was when he first fought the original Human Torch, and he has maintained his shades-of-gray status by being both a member of Iron Man and Norman Osborn’s Illuminati organizations.

5. John Constantine

A man who faces demons, both inner and real, Constantine has faced horrors that would drive most men mad (and in John’s case actually has on at least one occasion). Just knowing John Constantine is likely to get you killed: during his comic’s run just about every member of his supporting cast has either been killed, maimed, mutilated, tortured, and coerced into making deals with fiends from The Pit. And yet Constantine goes on, a supernatural warrior willing to pay almost any price to keep the darkest evil at bay.

In recent times Constantine has gotten rid of the guilt and self-loathing plaguing him by magically giving it the physical form of a baby and throwing it off a cliff. What a magnificent bastard…

4. Iron Man

Tony Stark is very much a self-made man with a host of flaws. An alcoholic unable to maintain a steady relationship with a woman, he is a control freak willing to do anything to forward his personal agenda. It is only fortunate for the Marvel universe his agenda usually coincides with that of most heroes. Stark is manipulative (he faked his own death and guilted James Rhodes into both running Stark International and becoming War Machine). He founded the Illuminati, a group of like-minded arrogant bastards intent on solving problems “lesser” heroes could not. Iron Man inadvertently killed The Gremlin during Armor Wars in an attempt to take back complete control of his armor technology and then avoided prosecution by claiming his “employee” had died). He also became a government stooge to take control of The Initiative after the Super Hero Registration Act was passed. Stark became such a totally irredeemable bastard Marvel Comics had to reboot him, wiping out the past five years of his memory is a massive do-over. Sad thing is, it is not the first time something like that has happened…

3. Rorschach

Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s dark creation was just one of many outstanding characters introduced during the landmark Watchmen series, but he is far and away the most popular and fascinating. The child of a broken home, Walter Kovacs was a typical costumed hero (if there is such a thing) until one day he discovered a crime so horrific (a girl was kidnapped, and when the kidnapper realized he would get no money for her, he killed her, chopped up her body and fed it to his dogs) that it put him over the edge. That day, as he explained to his prison psychiatrist, Walter Kovacs died and Rorschach was born. A paranoid reactionary more than willing to break a man’s fingers for a scrap of information, Rorschach was uncompromising in his principles to the point where he was willing to die rather than live and perpetuate the Utopian lie Ozymandias had created.

Perhaps part of what makes Rorschach such an outstanding character is the fact that he only appeared in twelve issues so his image has remained unsullied.

Sometimes less truly is more.

2. The Punisher

Starting off as merely a Mack Bolan (the Executioner) clone, Frank Castle has become so much more. He is the unstoppable vigilante, a mere human fueled by an unquenchable desire to murder each and every piece of criminal scum on the planet. Never mind that he has probably already killed the men who killed his wife and children, for Frank the war has become an end in itself, a way of life this soldier is unable to give up.

The Punisher has had his ups and downs over the years, ranging from over-saturation during the nineties (a period where every other hero wore black and/or had a gun, not to mention the rash of mullets) to the period when Frank became an angelic avenger (Marvel’s valiant attempt to completely destroy a good thing). Garth Ennis’ outstanding work in recent years has once again elevated Frank Castle to the status of the greatest antihero of all time…Well, almost. There is one greater…

1. Conan

Mercenary, thief, adventurer… men want to be him and women want to belong to him. The smoldering-eyed Cimmerian may have his own code of honor, but it does not get in the way of heavy drinking, womanizing and making sure his sword (or dagger, or fists, or whatever weapon is handy) is soaked in some poor bastard’s blood. While other vigilantes may have a higher body count, none can match Conan’s sheer savagery and courage. There is no healing factor, no automatic rifle. For Conan it is blade to blade against brigand, sorcerer and hell spawn horror! Conan is the oldest and most enduring character on this list and is the quintessential antihero, as much an inspiration for Dungeons & Dragons role players as is Lord of The Rings, as well as numerous fantasy novels populating bookshelves. He has had two successful comic book runs: first with Marvel Comics and currently with Dark Horse. Unlike many pulp characters of his era Conan’s popularity seldom wanes for long and his influence endures.

By Thomas Stockel. Check out his blog, GM’s Revenge.

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